From your post i understand that I have been too metaphysical in mine.(Though I thought otherwise).

Okay, let us come to ground realities. You raised a valid question "How many instances does an average man/women spend time in a relationship without having expectations on each other in the world we live in ?" (and yeah, this question applies to Father - Kid,Teacher - Student etc as well)

Zero.Never,indeed. People ,or rather, AVERAGE PEOPLE, always have expectations from their partners.[ Note, I said average, not EXCEPTIONAL, I thought you were trying to reflect on the qualities of EXCEPTIONAL / GREAT /TRUE life partners when "you-stood-in- the-shoes-of-GOD-Himself" and came up with the anology of a doctor,with which I dont agree due to the elememt of egotism in the partner who is playing the role of the doctor.]

Anyways,coming to the Average people,as I said,and as you rightly pointed out,they do "expect".Now the questions worth asking are "How many expectations can a person have from their partners?", "what kind of expectations?" , "How many expectations can actually be met by normal,average people like themselves ?" "Is this expectation one way or Does the other partner also have a right to expect? what if the other partners expectations clash with the former's expectations?" What if one partners expectations are actually harmful for the other partners self,even though the former is well intentioned ( but he doesnt know it).who should comply? why?

These are all practical questions and they beg an answer.

let us take an example. A father wanted to be a doctor but due to circumstances he couldnt.He expects his son to be doctor.but the son yawns and sleeps off in biology class.His soul is interested in reflecting nature and capturing its essence in heartful poems.These are the facts of the situation.Solid hard core facts.Is the father wrong in his expectation? he only wanted his son to be successful in future, infact more successful than himself.Is the Son wrong in his so called disobedience?

More often than not, average people expect the other people to satisy their needs by proxy.Just as the parents in the example expected the revival of their lost dreams through their Son's life. An youngster might expect his parents to feed him even long after his college.A husband might flaunt his trophy-wife before his elite friends and earn social acceptance points.These examples which i used belong to one category of expectations which are widely seen in our society, we even have a name for this class,PARASITIC.Sadly few recognize the crime associated with them.Expecting other people to satisfy our needs , not acknowledging their potential individuality (though latent) and in the process crushing their spirit by imposing authority, inducing guilt,know-it-all-podium-preaching,better-than-thou-snubbing, emotional black mailing,physical abuse or other forms of psychological manipulation is criminal, if not downright evil.

If expectations roughly sound, "I am unhappy and its your duty to make happy" or "I want you to live my life and abide by my rules" or "You exist to make me look good " or on a serious note "I dont care if you are a tortoise, I expect you to scooba dive" we are walking rough terrain indeed.

Now if we limit ourselves to the wedlock relationship,which is between two mature individuals who are not physically dependant on each other for survival.The only valid expectation would be that of acceptance.Where there is no acceptance,how can there be love? how can I bare my soul and for a moment be my authentic self before my life partner when I know that she is going to crib about it? when she doesnt accept my whole being but only a part of me, that tiny part which exists only to serve me as a social face? How can I trust and let go? If I cant live fully even before the person who is most dear to me , how can I live at all? How can I ever be free of this prison of "expectations"?

This requires trust. Trust requires unconditional acceptance(from both partners) and this acceptance culminates in love. Interestingly,due to some strange reason beyond my comprehension,when one is loved ,more often than not,the beloved is intrinsically motivated to please the lover,and even more strangely,in the situations where there is a conflict of opinions,the beloved's disaggreement is pleasing to the lover.[for it is her best interest that he holds most dear in his heart,or so I presume.]

This is the best and PRACTICAL gift a person give to another, be it to a friend, a parent , a kid or a life partner : If you love, let go. [you will be glad you did]

PS : Just because something is "average" doesn't mean it is healthy ,normal and should be taken for granted or worse, followed !!! Average is just that. AVERAGE.

A doctor does have the virtues of being a good listener, applying his skill and taking responsibility but I feel that comparing a life partner to a doctor assumes that the other partner is in some way "sick" and needs to be corrected / cured,taken care of or just plain inferior in some way than the one who is donning the hat of the so called doctor.This vanity, This pride,This egotism plays a very prominent role in making a relationship suffer.It is not very uncommon to see families in which a partner (one or both) takes it upon themselves to play saviour and tries to "fix" the other and change them to fit/match their expectations,only to result in further alienation and painful conflict.This being so, I want to highlight some fundamental differences between a doctor and a life partner.
A doctor listens to understand and cure the PROBLEM, while a partner listens to understand and honour the PERSON.A doctor cares, while a partner "LOVES".A doctor cures,A partner nurtures.A doctor gives due consideration , a partner provides acceptance.A doctor sympathises, A partner empathises.
In a doctor patient relationship,people communicate to the point.With a life partner, people commune the depths of their being.just in case I forget, speaking of responsilbility, in a doctor patient relationship, the doctor might well assume responsibility for the result of the treatment but never for the pathology (cause of the problem) of the patient.In a life partner relationship, the problem is not individual, responsibility for the cause as well as the solution is shared.The absolute infallibility of one parner who fixes the other is a (egotistic)delusion and it exists and perpetuates itself only in the mind of the fixer-partner in question.
In a doctor/patient relationship, there are two people with a situation.In a Life Partner relationship there is ONE FAMILY with a situation.As an underscore, I want to stress that a doctor is above the patient whereas the life partners are equals.
Interestingly, to quote a parrallel, A good teacher teaches his students "efficiently" but Great teachers always allow themselves to learn from thier students.They know that children are not vessels to filled (with knowledge) but lamps to be lit.The great teacher approaches the child with humility because they know that when the lamp is lit, more often than not, it is the teacher himself who benifits by the light it sheds.Similarly a good doctor cures the patient of any sickness,but a great doctor humbly leads the patient to discover the sacred place of healing deep within the patients themselves.A great life partner knows that his life partner is divine.When he listens, he does not do it with doctor-like-pride over his superiority.He listens with the humility-of-a-devotee and ASSISTS her in manifesting her hearts desires, and SERVES her in her evolution of becoming an authentic human being ,which by the way , is the only reason for any human relationship(father,mother,child,-friend,wife,husband etc) to exist in the first place.
PS : PHYSICIAN !!! HEAL THYSELF.

Can a GOOD DOCTOR easily become a good Husband/Wife, good father/mother, good teacher and a good friend. It seems like i am comparing mangoes to bananas, oranges and onions[u know i like these].
I describe a good doctor as the
One who listens to his/her patient carefully,
observe the symptoms,
analyzes patients Physically and mental State of mind,
and then
suggest medicine and/or course of action to get back to his/her normal life.
Moreover, a good doc takes responsibility of the after effects of treatment he /she did.

I believe, listening with full attention is one of the most valuable aspects of human life, coz it directly affects any relationship that you are part of. If you are not a good listener, i believe the other party will consider you as a companion to spend sometime but you can never be a part of his/her life.

A relationship is always a package. It is always a bundle of things that might include some obligations that you have to take on yourself, some extra-effort and time to spend with each other, giving importance to the right thing when you have "n" important things in your calender just like a doctor spends variable amount of time and effort with some of his/her patients among "n" patients.

Any relationship will go no longer if we don't clearly understand others state of mind. Conversations can easily land on "Forbidden Zones" ruled by the Gods of destruction, if you don't or can't estimate the partners state both physically and mentally. One should always be careful in analyzing what made he/she to say, to feel, to express things that they did. I hope one can map why a good doctor need to be capable of the understanding the things right.

After doing all the above things, the course of action can be a "Simple Silence suggesting NO COMMENTS" or can be a piece of advice that would eventually help or simplify things sooner. Whatever happens as a result of your action, in a relationship, the partner finds him/her-self
responsible for it. A good doctor always feels responsible for his patients progress back to his/her normal life.

I bet, you and i myself can, question the validity of the above theory. The only reason i posted it here is because i find a "doctor" to be easily comparable for a partner in any good relationship against the rest of the careers that we choose in our day2day life.

PS: Views expressed are completely NOT followed by me as the post was written when i was standing in the shoes of GOD which i do only when i write a blog entry.